I am hoarse. Hoarse I tell you. I have no voice. At all. I suspect this is because I have been on the phone with the cable company all freaking day.
It all started yesterday when our television picture got all messed up. It would freeze, it would break up into a bunch of tiny squares (this is apparently called “tiling”) it would lose the audio. It was a hot mess. It was so bad; in fact, that I could not watch the American Idol results show and therefore missed Adam Lambert’s performance. This did not make me happy.
I told Mediacom my tale of woe and they sent a tech out today, conveniently between the hours of 8 and noon. He showed up right on time at 10:30 and proceeded to check everything. He was actually very thorough. He even got a ladder out at one point. He thought he had found the problem once, and replaced a bit of coaxial cable that a squirrel had been chewing on (stupid squirrel) but that did not solve the problem. So he told me it was probably the cable card in my TiVo box that was at fault. His next move was to remove the old cable card and tell me to take it to the cable office to switch it for a new one.
So I did. But the office was closed! It was lunchtime. Sigh. How can you even think of eating when I have no cable television?!?
I got some McDonalds for the Princess and I and after we ate I hauled my sorry self back to the cable office. I walked up to the counter, smiled at the nice woman on the other side, handed her my old cable card and said, “I need a new one of these please”.
She looked at me like I had grown a second head and said, “oh, those have to be installed by a technician, I can’t just give you one.” I beg your pardon.
Now my first instincts here were murderous in nature. But of course, if I had killed her, I probably would have been arrested, and then who would have picked the C-Man up from school?
Instead I took a couple deep breaths and spoke to myself very firmly. I said, “Self, now is not the time to get snippy. Now is the time to turn on the charm. You want this woman to want to help you.” So I said “but I just had a technician at my house and he’s the one who told me to come here”. She took pity on me and called the guy up. She really let him have it for sending me out to their office on a wild goose chase. Then she arranged for me to take the new card home and have the cable guy meet me there to install it.
Problem solved right? Wrong. The picture was still messed up. Now suddenly the cable guy reveals that people all over my neighborhood are having this problem, and they have to get a “line tech” out to find out what is going on and then fix it.
He leaves. He’s frustrated because he couldn’t help me. I’m frustrated because I still have a messed up TV. At this point Sarah calls and we have a lovely conversation. I was sitting on the porch as we spoke and I could see Mediacom trucks criss-crossing the neighborhood. It was the full court press.
Ten minutes later Princess O comes out to the porch to announce that now the cable isn’t working at all. Now we just have a blank black screen. ARRRGH! Hang up with Sarah, call the cable company again, and tell them about the problem. Call Sarah back.
About 20 minutes later the cable was back, and not messed up anymore. Hurray! Problem solved right? Wrong! Now we are not getting any of our HD channels. Are you effing kidding me? This is now about my fourth or fifth call today. This time the guy who answered the phone said, “hang on a minute” and put me on hold. Considerably more than a minute later he came back on the line and said, okay we reset it from here, and it should be fine in 20 minutes. If it isn’t call us back”
Needless to say after the day I’d had with these guys I was not optimistic. But what do you know? This time it worked. This time I think it might actually be fixed.
I hope so anyway. Project Runway is on tonight.
I am exhausted.