Sweet home Chicago

I have survived another winter.  It is spring break and we are off to Chicago tomorow to spend some quality time with my sister and her family.  I will also have the opportunity to work on my waistline enhancement program.  There will be big food.  Oh yes, there will be big food.  Can you say 6-inch beef with sweet peppers, dipped?  I can.  Yum.

My friend A sent me these jokes about Chicago earlier this winter.  I have been saving them for a special occasion.  I believe my upcoming journey to my natural habitat is the perfect occasion.  

I didn’t write them, I don’t know who did, but I will be happy to give credit where credit is due if you know.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through April, you live in Chicago.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Chicago.

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago.

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago.

If “Vacation” means going anywhere south of I – 80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago.

If you have switched from “Heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago.

If you find 10 degrees “a little chilly”, you live in Chicago.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends and others, you live or lived in Chicago.

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