Nine words women use

Valentine’s day is just around the corner.  I am posting the following helpful hints in the interest of promoting harmony between the sexes.

My friend A sent these to me in an email earlier this week.  I’m not sure if she wrote them, or if someone else sent them to her.  All I know is I did not write them, and will be happy to give credit where credit is due.

 Important things for men to learn! 

  1. Fine:  This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
  2.  Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means one-half hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  3. Nothing:  This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
  4. Go Ahead:  This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
  5. Loud Sigh:  This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
  6.  That’s Okay:  This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
  7. Thanks:  A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome  (This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ — that will bring on a ‘whatever’.)
  8. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU.
  9. Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it:  Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response, refer to # 3.

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