Valentine’s day is just around the corner. I am posting the following helpful hints in the interest of promoting harmony between the sexes.
My friend A sent these to me in an email earlier this week. I’m not sure if she wrote them, or if someone else sent them to her. All I know is I did not write them, and will be happy to give credit where credit is due.
Important things for men to learn!
- Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
- Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means one-half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
- Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
- Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
- Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
- That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
- Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome (This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ — that will bring on a ‘whatever’.)
- Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU.
- Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response, refer to # 3.